2008 Woodie Awards
Got Issues? No Problem
Marlisse Cepeda
Issue date: 10/8/08 Section: Op Ed
Dear Marlisse,
Lately, I have been feeling things very new to me. I've been with my boyfriend for the past few months and things are going well with us. He's a great guy so I cannot complain. But, I met someone else who I get along very well with. We are just friends, but I'm becoming very attracted to this person. I guess you could say I have a 'crush' on my friend. But what makes this experience new, different, and a little bit scary is that the friend I have a crush on is a girl. What do I do? Should I tell her how I feel? Should I break up with my boyfriend? Please help.
Thanks,
'Sam'
Dear 'Sam,'
Before you do anything, I think you need to be honest with yourself and find out what you truly want. Also, you shouldn't feel scared just because you are feeling something new. Perhaps, what you are really scared of is what others will think of your feelings for this girl? Well, if that is the case, you should not let that affect your decision on telling her or not. People are always going to have their opinions. Some will be supportive and others will disapprove. You will never be able to please everyone. That is just the way it is. So, for now, you should just concentrate on what is right and true for you and what makes you happy. If you realize that you do actually have strong feelings for your friend, then I think you should tell her. Suppressing it will not make it go away or make you feel any better. If you don't tell her, you will just be left wondering what would have happened if you did. If she does, in fact, like you too and would like to become more than your friend, then, of course, you should break up with your boyfriend. It's not fair to him if you remain in the relationship while having feelings for or being involved with someone else. I hope everything works out for the best and thanks for the question!
Sincerely,
Marlisse
Lately, I have been feeling things very new to me. I've been with my boyfriend for the past few months and things are going well with us. He's a great guy so I cannot complain. But, I met someone else who I get along very well with. We are just friends, but I'm becoming very attracted to this person. I guess you could say I have a 'crush' on my friend. But what makes this experience new, different, and a little bit scary is that the friend I have a crush on is a girl. What do I do? Should I tell her how I feel? Should I break up with my boyfriend? Please help.
Thanks,
'Sam'
Dear 'Sam,'
Before you do anything, I think you need to be honest with yourself and find out what you truly want. Also, you shouldn't feel scared just because you are feeling something new. Perhaps, what you are really scared of is what others will think of your feelings for this girl? Well, if that is the case, you should not let that affect your decision on telling her or not. People are always going to have their opinions. Some will be supportive and others will disapprove. You will never be able to please everyone. That is just the way it is. So, for now, you should just concentrate on what is right and true for you and what makes you happy. If you realize that you do actually have strong feelings for your friend, then I think you should tell her. Suppressing it will not make it go away or make you feel any better. If you don't tell her, you will just be left wondering what would have happened if you did. If she does, in fact, like you too and would like to become more than your friend, then, of course, you should break up with your boyfriend. It's not fair to him if you remain in the relationship while having feelings for or being involved with someone else. I hope everything works out for the best and thanks for the question!
Sincerely,
Marlisse